


Emergency Rooms and Bruises

by snowbunnylester (xrosepetalsx)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging & YouTube RPF
Genre: Child Abuse, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-09
Updated: 2014-07-09
Packaged: 2018-02-08 05:06:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1927725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xrosepetalsx/pseuds/snowbunnylester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shared bruises AU. Phil wakes up with the realization that his soul mate is being abused, but doesn't know how to help him.<br/>TW: Abuse</p>
            </blockquote>





	Emergency Rooms and Bruises

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer** : In no way do I pretend that this is real or cast aspersions on Dan or Phil.
> 
> Based on this prompt ([x](http://phanfic.tumblr.com/post/90823547037)) that I read a few days ago and could not get off my mind. In my AU, your soul mate’s bruises and scars don’t show up on your skin until you turn 16. 
> 
> I seriously never planned on writing an abuse fic, but this happened. Comments/Kudos keep me alive :)

The first time it happened, Phil didn't think anything of it. In fact, he'd been expecting it.

On the morning of his 16th birthday, he glanced in the mirror only to find a mottled bruise on his shoulder, and he grinned, running his fingers over it and feeling one step closer to his soul mate.

He undressed quickly for a shower before school, heating up the water as he tried to examine his skin, only to realize he’d forgotten to put his contacts in, and berated himself for being so forgetful. Once they were in, he jumped in the shower and poured over his skin, taking in each and every scar that wasn't his own.

He was fascinated, determined to find his soul mate as soon as possible so that he could learn the story behind each and every scar.

He spent the day at school trying to unsuccessfully and inconspicuously examine or touch his class mate’s shoulders, to no avail.

He went to bed that night feeling drained, but excited.

The second time it happened, little over a month later, Phil was a bit more concerned as it appeared his soul mate was accident prone.  He should have known, considering the amount of scars that he’d discovered the first day they’d appeared on his skin.

Still, he couldn’t prevent himself from smiling as he ran his fingers over the bruise that covered his elbow, because the idea of sharing every scar and every mark that your soul mate had was still incredibly exhilarating to 16 year old Phil.

The third time it happened, however, Phil began to get a little worried, as his entire lower backside appeared to be covered in bruises.

As he sat down without an ounce of pain, he cringed at how hurt his soul mate must be. He was 18 years old then, and a lot more aware of the things that went on in the world.

At first, he'd sat on his bed in his pj’s, wondering what could have happened to leave such large bruises on his soul mate’s back, but then his mum was shouting at him from downstairs that they were leaving in ten minutes, and he better help his dad finish loading the car before then.

Without another thought about the bruises on his back, he sprang out of bed quickly and dug around in his suitcase for a change of clothes, bounding down the stairs two at a time once he was changed. His concern escaped him then as he got in the car and started heading for university.

The fourth time it happened, however, his mum noticed it first. He was 21 at the time, on holiday, and not prepared for the reality that would hit him when he woke up.

Phil prided himself on being a deep sleeper, having once slept through an earthquake, so he wasn’t completely sure how long his mum had been screaming at him before he woke up.

Once he had though, he scrambled out of bed trying to find the source of her cries.

“What, what’s happening?” he asked, and then he glanced down.

Covering the majority of his abdomen were bruises so dark, Phil wasn’t sure how he wasn’t feeling them. When he looked back up, his mouth was wide open in surprise and his mum was covering her face with her hands as she cried.

“Mum, why am I covered in bruises?” he asked in a small voice.

She shook her head, and that’s when Phil realized something was terribly, terribly wrong.

\--

“Phil, have you ever woken up with bruises like that before?” his dad asked when they’d all gathered around the kitchen table.

He shook his head at first, but then slowly started to nod when he remembered the third time it had happened the morning before he left for uni.

The grave look on his father’s face told him that that was not the answer he’d been hoping for.

“I was afraid of that,” he said, and asked “Was it as bad as this time?”

“No, I would have said something if it had been,” Phil responded quietly, head bowed.

His mum reached over then and grasped his hand. When he looked up, she was smiling, but there were tears in her eyes. “We know, honey. Don’t blame yourself.”

Phil nodded, but he didn’t smile back. This was his soul mate they were talking about, of course it was his fault.

He should have known something was wrong. In fact, he _had_ known something was wrong, but he’d brushed it off because he’d been so young and he’d been so excited about his life just beginning. Soon, Phil would be looking for a proper job, and yet he’d managed to miss one of the most important facts of his life.

Something was wrong with his soul mate.

His eyes started to burn, and he found himself swallowing back tears.

“Phil,” his dad said quietly, and that’s when he realized he hadn’t heard a word his dad had said for the past couple of minutes. He glanced up at him quickly, to show he’d heard, and waited for his dad to repeat himself.

“We think your soul mate may be being abused,” he said, and Phil’s heart almost stopped right then and there.

Instead, he took in a deep breath and, holding back tears, asked “What are we going to do?”

“There’s a helpline we can try, but there’s no guarantee…” his dad began, but Phil started zoning out after “there’s no guarantee.” All he could do was hope.

\--

Stubborn as he was, for the next two years, Phil worked with an agency that specialized in finding people’s soul mates in extreme cases. When Phil asked why only in special cases, they asserted that the universe had its own plans, and people shouldn’t interfere, except in cases like this one.

When it came right down to it, Phil didn’t really care, so long as they found his soul mate and got them out of the horrible situation they were in, so he shrugged it off and didn’t mention it again.

During this time, the bruises started appearing more and more frequently, most often around the rib cage area. They were rarely as bad as they had been the morning his mum had found him, but that was hardly the point. The fact that they were still showing up made Phil want to cry.

Sometimes, Phil would sit on his bed and poke at the sensitive looking skin, wishing it was him that was being abused, rather than his soul mate, but there was nothing that he could do.

Occasionally, clumsy as he was, Phil would find himself with a few bruises and cuts of his own, and he wondered if his soul mate was looking at them with the same wonder Phil used to look at his soul mates, before they got as extreme as they were now.

On that note, Phil wondered how old his soul mate was, when they’d woken up to find their body littered in Phil’s scars. He wondered if his soul mate even cared, seeing as they were being abused. Maybe the thought of Phil was a life line to them, and maybe it didn’t matter. Maybe they didn’t care they had a soul mate out there waiting for them, and Phil couldn’t blame them.

Phil wasn’t sure he would care either, if he was being abused.

As the months wore on, Phil grew more and more anxious, trying to live his own life the best he could whilst still worrying about his soul mate. It became harder and harder the longer time wore on, and then, finally, the summer after his 23rd birthday, he got a call.

“Phil Lester?”

“Yes?"

“We found him.”

\--

There was no shock at the reveal of his soul mate’s gender. There wasn’t even any shock when they told him to go to A&E, and he rushed to the emergency center while on the phone with his boss letting him know why he wouldn’t be coming into work that day.

Once the call was over, he glanced out the window of the taxi he was in and finally noticed the color of his face. It was an angry, splotchy purple, and it was horrifying to look at.

The way it covered the bridge of his nose, he knew his soul mate’s nose must be broken.

When he arrived at A&E, someone from the agency was standing outside holding a sign with his name on it, and he jogged over to them with his hands shoved in his pockets because of how hard they were shaking.

When he stopped in front of them, they took one look at his face and nodded. “Come with me,” they said, and he followed them into the building, riding up in the lift with them after they’d signed in.

He’d barley stepped out of the lift when he was way-laid by a man in a suit that he recognized from the agency. He pulled Phil aside before Phil could say anything, and gave him a piercing look.

“He’s a bit shook up, and a lot angry, Phil, okay? I have to know that you understand this. I know you’ve been waiting a long time for this, but you have to remember that he’s been abused for the past couple of years, and he’s not that happy that we found him.”

“What?” Phil asked, surprised. The man sighed, and put his hand on Phil’s shoulder.

“He doesn’t understand what took us so long,” he said, and Phil nodded. “I know he’s your soul mate, and he knows you’re his soul mate, but he’s suffered a lot of trauma. Be prepared for that.”

“Okay,” Phil said slowly, and then, in a small voice “Is he okay?”

“He’s going to be fine. We got him out of there before things could get any worse than…” The man gestured to Phil’s face, and Phil reached up to press his fingers into the bruises he knew were there.

Nodding, he started to walk away, but stopped after having only gone a few steps.

“What’s his name?” he asked.

“Dan Howell,” he answered, and Phil nodded once again before continuing on his way.

It was with a sigh of relief that Phil stepped into the room his soul mate was staying in and found the boy awake, much younger than Phil had been expecting him to be.

He couldn’t help the smile that spread over his face however, but it fell when he saw the angry look it was returned with.

“Hi,” Phil said with an awkward scratch of his head.  He bit his lip, unsure what to say in the face of Dan’s anger, and opened his mouth without thinking. “I’m Phil, and I…I’m your soul mate,” he tried, and then suppressed a groan at his own idiocy.

“I can see that,” Dan returned, his brown eyes boring into Phil’s blue. Phil swallowed, and nodded his head, running his fingers through his fringe out of anxiousness, berating himself for being so stupid.

Before he could say anything else, a nurse bustled in and started taking Dan’s vital signs. She jumped when she realized Phil was there, and was about to order him out when her eyes softened and she noticed the identical bruise covering Phil’s face.

“Won’t you take a seat, sweetheart?” the nurse asked, gesturing to the chair by Dan’s bed. Phil shot a glance at Dan’s face again, and when he caught the glare he was shooting at the nurse, he shook his head.

“No, its fine, I don’t mind standing,” he mumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets again and staring down.

“All right then, if you’re sure,” she said, and Phil nodded again.

After a few moments, she left, and they were silent.

Phil risked a glance up, only to find Dan glaring at the opposite corner. He dropped his gaze again, and felt tears pricking his eyes.

“Dan-“

“Phil-“

They both started, and then stopped. Phil’s eyes snapped up to meet Dan’s again, and this time the boy was looking at him. With a frustrated sigh, Dan ran his hand through his own fringe, gesturing to the chair next to him.

“Sit,” he commanded, and Phil did.

Dan sighed again and glanced at Phil, then dropped his gaze. Tentatively, Phil tried to catch his eye again, and this time, when he did, Dan didn’t look so angry.

Phil smiled tentatively at him, and watched as Dan relaxed a little further. Then, Dan lifted his hand, and for a second, it looked like Dan was going to touch him, but at the last minute he diverted the movement of his hand to thrust the thin blanket covering him off of one leg.

Confused, Phil started at him blankly, with the same tentative smile curving his lips.

Dan’s lips quirked in an almost smile, and then he pointed at his exposed knee.

“What the hell did you do to your knee?” he asked, and Phil was so startled by the sudden question that he burst into laughter, his tongue poking out. His hands flew to his mouth to try and hide it, but then he saw that Dan was smiling too, for the first time in Phil’s presence, and he dropped his hands in awe.

“Well?” Dan prompted after a too long silence, still smiling, and Phil opened his mouth and told him.

\--

Phil visited every day after that, waiting for Dan to be released. They hadn’t discussed where Dan would be going yet, but they both knew he wasn’t returning home.

Secretly, Phil hoped Dan would agree to move in with him. He knew it was moving a bit fast, but he also knew that he had been waiting way to long for this moment and Dan was finally here, safe, with him. He didn’t want to let him go.

He found out that Dan had only turned 18 a few weeks ago, that his mum had died when he was 16, and that was when his dad had really started beating him. The first time it happened, when he was 13, it had been a fluke.

“I remember wondering how old you were, if you were old enough to see the bruises yet,” Dan said quietly, and Phil nodded.

“Yeah…I was 18 the first time it happened,” Phil said. Dan stared at him, anger quickly rising to his cheeks, turning them a blotchy red. Phil leaned back, afraid that he’d ruined everything, and then Dan blew out a thin stream of air.

“I-I’m sorry –“ Phil tried to say, but Dan only shook his head and turned away.

They didn’t talk again until Phil had to leave.

\--

“I’m sorry,” was the first thing Dan said when Phil came back the next day, feet heavy with apprehension, but Dan wouldn’t look at him.

“I didn’t mean to get angry at you,” he tried again when Phil didn’t respond, hovering in the doorway of Dan’s room.

“It’s okay…” Phil said quietly, “It’s not your fault.”

“It’s not yours either, Phil,” he growled, finally turning to face Phil. “It’s not yours either, and I’m sorry for making you feel like it was,” he said, collapsing onto his bed.

Phil only nodded, not agreeing with him but accepting the apology anyway, and moving to take his customary seat next to Dan. That was when Dan noticed the bag he was carrying.

“What’s that?” he asked, pointing, and Phil smiled a little, handing it to him.

“It’s for you…I uh, was out last night, and I saw this in the claw machine and I just figured…” Phil said, trailing off.

Slowly, Dan pulled the stuffed animal Phil had won for him out of the bag, and he stared at it in bewilderment for a minute before he smiled.

“You won this, for me?” he asked, and when Phil nodded, Dan beamed at him, the dimple in his left cheek showing like it had never done before.

\--

The bruises on their faces’ were finally starting to fade into a dull yellow, and Dan’s broken nose was healing. That was when Phil really started to notice how handsome Dan was, and occasionally, he found himself struck dumb in the middle of their conversations.

“What?” Dan would ask after catching Phil staring. “Is there something on my face?” he’d hedge, and then laugh at himself when he realized just what he’d said. Phil laughed with him, but shook his head.

“No, there’s nothing on your face.”

Dan blushed.

\--

“When I turned 16, I rushed into the shower to find every single scar you’d left on my body,” Phil told him. “I was so anxious to meet you, and there was this giant bruise on my shoulder, so I went around school all day trying to find you out,” he continued.

Dan laughed, and Phil grinned with him, tongue poking out again. His grin faded after a moment though, and he asked tentatively “How did you manage a bruise so high up on your shoulder though?”

Dan laughed again, shaking his head at Phil’s apprehension. “I’m really, really clumsy, that’s all.”

Phil laughed too then, for a moment, and then it grew quiet between them. Phil dropped his eyes, but he was still staring at Dan. He couldn’t help it.

Dan’s eyes kept flickering to his face, and Phil couldn’t keep himself from smiling at the action. Then Dan huffed out a laugh and reached out, placing his palm softly on Phil’s arm.

“When I turned 16, I stayed up all night. At midnight, I went into the bathroom and turned on the light and pin pointed every single new scar I had, from you. I was disappointed when I didn’t find any bruises, or scratches, because I wanted so badly for that little sense that you were alive. It didn’t matter though, because I felt like I knew you already, just from looking at all your scars.”

“Yeah,” Phil says in response, moving his arm away so he could clasp his fingers with Dan’s, “I felt like that too.”

\--

Phil isn’t sure how they end up talking about it. It had been a taboo subject that they’d both avoided like the plague, and then, suddenly, Dan was telling him about how his dad drank too much, and got too angry, and blamed Dan for his mum’s death.

He was telling Phil about how much it hurt when the belt slammed into his ribs, again and again, while Dan lay there powerless.

He was telling him how Dan used to think about Phil, and how he knew, one day, his soul mate would come along and save him from this hell, and how, over the past year, things had gotten so bad he’d given up hope.

“But then those agents showed up at my house right as my dad was slamming his fist into my nose, and they busted down the door and all I could see was my dad being dragged away while I collapsed to the floor, blood getting all over my clothes. Fuck, it hurt so bad,” he said, rubbing his nose now.

“I was so angry they were there, angry you’d taken so long to find me, and when they told me how you’d been working with them for two years, I got even angrier. I don’t even know why I was so angry, I just _was_ , and then you walked in that door and it was like a part of me was whole again.”

Phil choked out a laugh, shaking his head. “You looked like you were going to strangle me!”

“I wouldn’t have. I wouldn’t hurt a fly,” he said, and Phil nodded his head, reaching out to take Dan’s hand again just like the other day. Dan let him, squeezing his fingers lightly.

“I was angry, but at the same time I was so happy, because I was finally going to meet you. The anger was just easier to hold onto, because I’d given up hope, and yet…there you were.”

\--

Phil’s amazed by how much they have in common, even though he shouldn’t be. They're soul mates, after all. They’re supposed to have a lot in common. They’re supposed to complement each other, complete each other, be everything the other person needs.

Maybe Phil was so amazed by it because he’d been waiting for it for so long, and for a while, he hadn’t been sure he’d ever have this feeling.

So he holds on tight. Every chance he gets, he takes hold of Dan’s hand and squeezes his fingers just to remind himself that Dan is real, that Dan is there, and Dan will smile at him and squeeze back, and continue on with whatever story he’s telling Phil now.

Phil will smile at him, and feel himself falling in love.

\--

“Dan,” Phil started the day before Dan was set to be released. “I had a question for you.”

Dan nodded blearily, having only just woken up, his face pressed against the soft brown of the toy Phil had won him.

“You’re set to be released in a few days, and I was just wondering…if you wanted to come back to mine?” he asked, and then immediately blushed. “I just meant, you don’t have anywhere to go, and well…you _are_ my soul mate, so I just wondered if, maybe, you’d want to come stay with me?” he blurted, finally covering his mouth with his hand to keep himself from waffling any longer.

Dan laughed then, dimple showing through once again, and shook his head. “You idiot,” he finally said. “Of course I would.”

Phil smiled then, and reached out to take his hand. Dan linked their fingers together, and then slowly, he pulled Phil in.

Phil went willingly enough, smile so wide he wasn’t sure how it wasn’t splitting his face open.

Without a second’s hesitation, Dan pressed their lips together, and it was perfect.


End file.
